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Good Divorce Week 2020 - What Makes a Good Divorce?

The week starting 30 November marks Good Divorce Week, organised by family law network, Resolution.

The goal of this year’s #gooddivorce campaign is to raise awareness of Resolution’s Code of Practice, the benefits of getting your divorce with a law firm that supports their lawyers in becoming members of Resolution, and the value of seeking early legal advice.

At Preston Redman, our divorce solicitors are all dedicated to providing a welcoming, personalised service and helping individuals find positive solutions to their divorce issues. Our friendly and approachable team is headed by Tim Flower, a Law Society Family Law Advanced accredited specialist with 15 years’ experience. Our team also includes two members of Resolution, Helen Davies and Mark Hensleigh.

What is Resolution?

Resolution is a network of 6,500 family law professionals who dedicate themselves to helping people sort out issues relating to relationship breakdown, financial arrangements, and the care of children.

Resolution members are committed to the Code of Practice which guides their approach when helping families work through challenging family law problems. The Code of Practice encourages members to consider the issues of every family member and seek a positive solution that works for everyone, particularly any children.

Why choose our divorce solicitors?

When you instruct one of our divorce solicitors, you can expect them to:

  • Listen to you, respect your views and concerns, and provide honest advice
  • Set out your options in clear, understandable language so you can confidently make the right decisions
  • Help you look at the bigger picture and identify what is most important in your life
  • Help you find a balance between what you want and the costs, both in terms of money and stress
  • Always keep your best interests in mind and work with others to find the best solutions for you
  • Minimise stress wherever possible to support you through this difficult time

Overall, we are committed to helping you resolve your divorce issues amicably without going to court wherever possible.

What makes a ‘good divorce’? Our top tips

It is well known that divorce is one of the hardest experiences a person can go through, and with around 42% of marriages ending in divorce, it’s one that will challenge many of us at some point in our lives.

Divorce affects every member of the family, especially children who are often caught in the middle. Ending up in court only tends to make the situation more stressful as well as more expensive.

So, when the whole point of divorce is to sever a relationship because it has irretrievably broken down, is it even possible to have a ‘good’ divorce? We believe that with the right support, good divorces are possible. That’s why several of our team are members of Resolution, an organisation specifically dedicated to the positive resolution of family law issues. With that in mind, here are our top tips for having ‘a good divorce’.

Be open and honest

Divorce involves a great deal of discussion to sort out how you are going to split your finances and what should happen with the children. However, when every discussion is a struggle, tensions can start to rise, leading to conflict and additional stress.

The only way these conversations can happen smoothly is if both parties are completely open and honest with each other – open about how they feel and what they need and honest about their financial resources.

Be willing to compromise

The reality is that the result of the divorce must be fair to you and your former partner. This means that finances must be divided in a way that allows both parties to move on with their lives independently and with a decent standard of living. An unequal split of money and property may be the fairest solution, but only after significant consideration of all your individual circumstances.

We understand that compromising with your former partner may not be appealing, but if you cannot reach an agreement it will be the courts that make the final decision and you will have little to no control over the result. So, compromising isn’t about ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ but about reaching a solution that it within your control and works for you both.

Put the children first

Parents only want what is best for their children, but unfortunately this often results in the children being caught in the middle during divorce proceedings. Children are strong but divorce can have a major impact on their lives – their parents no longer live together, they may have to move house or even move schools.

Regardless of how the divorce came about, you will need to find an effective way to communicate with your former partner to reduce the impact on your children. Their needs should always come first and children should never be used as ‘leverage’ during the proceedings.

Minimise conflict where you can

Finding constructive ways to communicate is the key to success. For example, try to avoid criticism, even if you feel your former partner really deserves it and recognise when tensions are spiralling – postponing the discussions until later when you are calmer may be the best solution.

One tricky aspect of the current divorce process is the requirement to provide negative reasons (such as adultery and unreasonable behaviour) to prove the relationship has irretrievably broken down.

From Autumn 2021, this requirement will change. No-fault divorce will remove the negative reasons and allows couples to get a divorce without having to play the ‘blame game’. This reform comes after years of campaigning from Resolution and its family law practitioner members.

Try Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)

ADR methods such as mediation have a strong track record of helping divorcing couples sort out divorce matters (such as financial and childcare arrangements) without having to go to court.

Our family law team includes qualified mediator, Mark Hensleigh, who has decades of experience helping families through challenging times efficiently, cost-effectively and with minimal stress. 

Get the right divorce solicitor

Having the right lawyer on your side to provide practical advice and emotional support is invaluable. Our team are committed to helping individuals have good divorces. We have a number of divorce specialists such as Tim Flower, a Law Society Accredited expert in advanced family law matters and two members of Resolution, Helen Davies and Mark Hensleigh

We also uphold the Resolution Code of Practice by providing a listening ear, respect, and the advice you need to reach a positive resolution with as little conflict and stress as possible.

Get in touch for expert divorce advice in Bournemouth

For further information or to set up a confidential initial consultation with one of our friendly divorce solicitors, give us a call or email Our clients come to us from across Bournemouth, Poole and the wider Dorset area for our expertise and friendly, personal approach.